Do any of you ever feel not exactly happy but not exactly sad either. So you go through the day feeling like this but it gradually starts building up, something inside of you is bubbling, waiting. Then one thing triggers it. The feelings EXPLODE out of you in a fit if tears and nothing anyone says or does can stop it. You just sit there crying and crying all of the feelings pouring out of you like a waterfall.
This is not fun.
It happened to me this evening actually, my eyes are red and sore from crying and my face is blotchy. I got my hopes up, I do it every time. Each time I think this one is it, its going to happen after years of waiting! But it never is and each and every time I break down and get upset but this time it was the worst,
It was an explosion.
I want a dog. I love them with every fibre of my being, my friends, my family everyone I know has a dog. I have wanted a dog for as long as I can remember. But each and every time I would bring it up my parents would say the time wasn’t right, we’re moving house, we can’t afford one right now, we are both working full time… I have learnt from my mistakes but tonight I showed my mum this gorgoues puppy I had seen which is for sale right outside where we live. I didn’t expect a reaction but she was in awe of the puppy and within a minuite her and my brother were in love with it. I got so excited and mum said she would talk to dad! It was finally going to happen I thought! My brother told my dad by accident and he laughed because he’s heard it all before. Me my brother and mum were all saying how the time was finally right and it was perfect. He just kept saying staring at us and not taking it seriously. Then my mum said “please just think about it at least” and he just said “no we’re not getting a dog I’m not thinking about it because its not happening”. Then it happened.
I exploded. I couldn’t stop the tears. It was awful. My dad got annoyed then and said I was being spoiled, maybe I was but I have wanted a dog for years and I thought it was going to happen. But then reality came crashing down as did all my tears. All I could see was this adorable puppy looking up at me through my phone and my heart broke.
Have any of you ever felt like this? Night love you all xxxxxxx